10 Reasons Why Everybody Should Stop Going To Burning Man

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10 Reasons Why Everybody Should Stop Going To Burning Man

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10 Reasons Why Everybody Should Stop Going To Burning Man




If you were already sick and tired of all the “burners” in your Facebook newsfeed, than you came to the right place, because we also have at least 10 reasons why everybody should stop going to Burning Man!

Yes, you know it! We’re sick of people “attending their first burn”, or the veterans that post “another year, another burn” just to make us jealous of our very boring lives. We know that the only reason you are attending this godawful Burning Man festival is because you have no life of your own and you probably don’t even have cable.

Yeah, we said it! It’s called cable! You should try it sometime you ignorant bastards! Also, Monday-night football. Have you ever heard of something like that?

Don’t you have anything better to do with your time than to attend Burning Man? Do you even watch NASCAR, bro? No, we’re sure you don’t even know what a good TV meal tastes like with all the “fun” you’re having at your stupid festival.

What can be so fun about a bunch of creative and open-minded people getting together? We don’t get it! When you have so many BBQ party ideas you can do right at home, or when you have all the free porn you want on the Internet, why would you go in the middle of the desert?

This is why we have collected the best and most logical 10 reasons why everybody should stop going to Burning Man! For all those pickup truck banjo playing fast-food lovers out there, this is for you!

10. People that go to Burning Man don’t know how to have fun!

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10 Reasons Why Everybody Should Stop Going To Burning Man

Seriously, does this look like a fun time? “I’ll take my sister in a pickup truck any day!” (literally)

9. People that go to Burning Man are not even creative. Not at all!

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10 Reasons Why Everybody Should Stop Going To Burning Man
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10 Reasons Why Everybody Should Stop Going To Burning Man
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10 Reasons Why Everybody Should Stop Going To Burning Man
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10 Reasons Why Everybody Should Stop Going To Burning Man
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10 Reasons Why Everybody Should Stop Going To Burning Man
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10 Reasons Why Everybody Should Stop Going To Burning Man

You call that creativity? Geesh…

For more, check out the The Best Burning Man 2015 Photos And Highlights – “The Creativity There Blew Me Away”

8. Not to mention all the ugly men you find at Burning Man…

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A photograph from Burning Man 2011 by photojournalist Scott London. For more info, please visit: www.scottlondon.com/burningman
A photograph from Burning Man 2011 by photojournalist Scott London. For more info, please visit: www.scottlondon.com/burningman

Grotesque, we know… Ughh.

7. And have you seen the women? No, thanks!

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It’s disgusting and you know it! Now why would you want to go to a place like this? Still not convinced that you should stop going to Burning Man? Don’t worry, we have a few more reasons that will definitely change your mind!

6. These people don’t even know how to party!

Seriously, you call that a party? No, Sir! We’ll take a good old fashioned BBQ anytime!

5. And what’s so beautiful about The Desert, anyway?

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Just a bunch of sand with no ocean if you ask us…

4. And don’t even get us started on the food… Just don’t!

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We actually feel sorry for these people. Just look at them, they’re eating like hobos.

3. These people don’t even know what love is…

BLACK ROCK CITY, NV - SEPT 2: First-time Burner Sonja Lercer of Whistler, B.C., Canada, dances on the LOVE installation at last week's 25th annual Burning Man festival. (Photo by Keith Carlsen For the Washington Post)
BLACK ROCK CITY, NV – SEPT 2: First-time Burner Sonja Lercer of Whistler, B.C., Canada, dances on the LOVE installation at last week’s 25th annual Burning Man festival. (Photo by Keith Carlsen For the Washington Post)

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They can’t even share a romantic moment

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See what we’re talking about? These people are soulless… It saddens us.

2. And people don’t have to pay for stuff!? What the F(word) is up with that?

It’s insane? We live in America, people! Does “land of the free” ring a bell to you? We should be free to spend our money anywhere and anyway we want to! This is just crazy, and we will not stand for it! Not paying for things, what a dumb idea that is… Right?

1. Can you imagine people finding this Burning wooden Man and all the fireworks spectacular?

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Why?

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How?

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Well… this doesn’t look so bad, but…

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but… We still don’t think it’s such a good idea because, you know…

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it’s like…

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Oh, who are we kidding! Burning Man is absolutely phenomenal in every single way! We love it! It’s one of the few places on Earth where people can still come together and be free. Free to express their ideas, free to dress how they like, free to be one with everybody else…

Burning Man is the place where You can be You!